- This article is definitely long and being a firm believer of judicious use of time, I urge you to read it only during meals or when you really need a break from your actual work.
- I have used words like animals/beasts many times in this article. They do not have any abnormal connotation – they simply indicate that the so-called human being referred as animal/beast believes and practices “physical might is right” jungle-principle and thumbs his nose at “intellectual might is right” or “ethical might is right” because due to his degraded, animal-class mind and mindset, he considers human society a jungle where “physical might is supposed to rule” rather than human society being a higher state of civilization where truth, goodness and justice are supposed to rule.
Our Indian society is imagined by us to have great ethics and spirituality and Indian women are considered to be epitome of selfless motherhood. But, my experiences are quite different regarding Indian society as well as “selfless motherhood”. How to be positive in face of beastliness and insanity of others is such a big psychological and spiritual challenge that only they can understand it who have faced these things themselves. I got the first directly traumatic experience of life when I was just 13 year old in class VIII from my own mother and from Indian society which teaches kids to blindly believe that parents and especially mothers are the truest protectors of their kids – there was also one indirect trauma before that which made this first direct trauma even more unjust because my parents proved themselves incapable of learning from the past by giving me a direct trauma even after an earlier indirect trauma.
I have reeled under this injustice whole life. No amount of meditation and self-help techniques (including psychiatric medication from an AIIMS-educated doctor) have helped me to have positive feelings for my parents (my father is also extremely insensitive)
Why am I writing this post? To vent out – definitely! But, also to share some lessons for future generation and particularly, for people who are in politics, administration, judiciary and media and hence are capable of transforming India’s pathetically dysfunctional families and schools!
It is not good to write a long post because then readers lose interest. Also, generally people coming from dysfunctional families have so many traumatic experiences from their insensitive parents and socio-economic class they come from that they can never write about them in one blog article. I come from a dysfunctional, lower middle class family of Bihar. I got dysfunctional experiences from other members of lower-middle class families also. I ended up sharing all these experiences in last few years in too many articles on this blog and with too much bluntness that I finally deleted them all except this one – “10 important lessons from my life (Jul 13, 2012)” which is a fully neutral and at times even positive-toned article!
But, as they say, the first wound is too deep and I think, now the time has come for me to uncover this wound in neutral tone and language to the extent I can manage. If you feel that there is nothing to learn from my experience, then I do apologize for wasting your precious time. On my own, I do believe that this article has a strong message for socially conscious people who want to improve the pathetic state of affairs in our country’s homes and schools. A dysfunctional home and a dysfunctional school, where even basic human rights of children are not protected, can never produce functional citizens with pride in their country and civilization!
To come to the story, I studied in Jawahar Navodaya Vidyalaya, Begusarai (Bihar) from class VI till class X. In that school, the dream of creating a gurukul (a fully residential and model CBSE school) for students from lower-middle and lower class families in every district of India was ruthlessly violated till I was there because the Principal and teachers there did not try to stop the insane habit of physically strong and mentally mean-minded so-called students to physically and mentally torture physically weaker students. I became an instant target for all physically strong and mentally mean-minded so-called students there from class VI itself as I was an introvert, too much studious and too righteousness-minded. There were 4 problems in that school:
- Senior students used to order junior students there for getting their things done like fetch a glass of water from handpump, get meal from school mess and sometimes give their own clothes in place of juniors’ clothes quota to the washerman. And all of this was done not though the force of love for juniors as elder brothers, but through the threat of physical beating. And even in case of complaints, nothing used to be done by the Principal and house wardens and so this was rampant throughout my 5 years’ stay there. I suffered taunts and beatings from such seniors from class VI till class X because I found it ethically wrong for a senior to disrupt the concentration during study hours and kill the time of juniors by forcing their personal work upon them just through fear of physical beatings. And the more I resisted, the more I was targetted because I was physically not strong enough and my Principals and house-wardens were insanely insensitive people who never tried to protect the basic human rights of junior and physically weaker students like me.
- Physically stronger and mean-minded batchmates also used to taunt and even beat physically weaker students even when they were batchmates and supposed to behave like colleagues. This was due to Navodaya school of my time being a jungle where “physical might was right” and physically mighty were left to prey upon the physically weak students and feel like lions of that jungle for their beastly behaviour. I suffered from taunts and beatings of one such batchmate in class IX and X who finally got well-deserved beatings from and due to me in class X (I had become tall and strong by the end of class IX to pay back the beasts of my class in the only language they appeared to understand – the language of tit-for-tat.) and he became a much more civilized person in class X due to pain induced by those beatings.
- There used to be regular stealings of students’ articles like glass, plate, lamp, bedsheet, books, etc. A major part of it was due to there being few thiefs in most batches of that school and a minor role was played by the vicious cycle in which a student whose article was stolen would feel forced to steal others’ articles to avoid financially troubling parents.
- Many girls were harassed by uncivilized boys there with taunts continuously even during my time (and it reached to the level of physical misbehaviour also once I left that school). Of course, nothing was done to protect the basic human rights of girls by the Principal and teachers because they seemed to believe in Navodaya being a jungle rather than a gurukul.
I suffered from first three problems throughout my 5-year long stay in that school. No complaints to house wardens or Principals (more than 3 people were Principals there one-after-another during my time due to regular transfers of many to Navodaya schools in other districts of Bihar) made even a tiny amount of effort in removing these problems because they were insanely insensitive people of disastrous previous generation with no sense of duty and ethics.
Taunts and beatings I used to get from seniors got intensified in its impact because it was combined with a deliberate and regular stealing of my articles and for every article I lost in that residential school, my mother used to give me merciless scolding, calling me dolt, careless, someone who had taken birth just to make her a beggar, etc. I got such scoldings from class VI till class VIII from my mother. She was an unrestrained woman in her manners and behaviour because my father had an illusion of her being very intelligent and left her to take care of me and my siblings with full freedom which she abused mercilessly in my case. I also had an illusion of her being very intelligent because of her stories like how she used to get top 3 rank in class during high school and nursing school training – God knows, what kind of idiots used to study in her classes for her to be in top 3 rank!
I also had an illusion till my late teenage which was created by Indian society through societal conditioning and teaching in textbooks that parents are always there to protect and help you whenever you need them. If I had known that some parents are insanely insensitive and dull-minded in every part of the world (in the present, past and probably in future also) to care properly about their own kids, I would have saved myself from the traumatic experience that insensitive behaviour of my mother produced in class VIII.
In class VIII, the stealings of my articles became more and more frequent and my mother got madder and madder in her scoldings. Her argument was that I should keep everything locked inside a box. But, things like glass, plate, lamp, books, etc. are used so often that once in 1 or 2 months, I used to forget them locking for few minutes or hours and they used to then get swiftly stolen. I do suspect that thieves of my 1-year senior batch used to do these stealings to mentally torture me because in my whole life so far, I have never seen such a gang of mean-minded beasts that I saw in students of my 1-year senior batch – they terrorized juniors of every class from beginning till the end of their stay in Navodaya school. My mother at last told me in class VIII, “Take away seniors’ article if they are taking yours.” She did not clarify even once that day or next day or anytime later that she did not want me to steal and that she gave that statement just in anger. I definitely did not accept her unethical instruction for stealing in return for someone stealing my article. But, there is a limit of tolerance to continuous torture from seniors, no help from Principals, House wardens, toxic scoldings of my mother and neutral silence of my father throughout this sordid affair for 3 years at a stretch from class VI till class VIII.
Just within few months after she told me to steal back, I forgot locking back my kerosene lamp one night and left it on my study desk and slept. When I woke up, my lamp was stolen during night. Terrified of mad scolding of my mother, I decided that even if I have to search every person’s article in every boys’ house (there were 8 boys’ house that time there), I will find my article as I cannot tolerate any more pain and frustration from severe scolding of my mother. I searched from house to house and then in one house, I found a lamp which looked exactly like mine. I told one student there that someone had taken this lamp from me and that I was taking it back and then brought that lamp back to my house and started using that as my own lamp.
Few days later, I opened that lamp to pour kerosene and then I was stunned to see that the wick of that lamp was very small, because I remembered the wick of my stolen lamp being quite long. I at once realized that this was not my lamp and at once the thought came to me, “Let me go back to that house and return this lamp to its owner.” But, the very next moment (not even a little gap was there, it was literally “very next moment”), the face of my angry mother scolding me again severely as dolt, careless, someone who had been born just to make her a beggar, etc. came to my mind, and I simply lost all my courage then and there and could not summon courage even later to return that lamp to its owner.
Though this was a great ethical mistake, but it also shows how much continuous mental and physical torture from one and all in most tender age can break the will of even a person like me who is one of the most ethical persons that my friends, family members and I have ever seen and will ever see in our lives. But, the next mistake was a tactical mistake. I told few persons in my batch whom I considered my friends about this episode few days later and one of them started blackmailing me, saying that he will tell about this to students of 1-year senior and beast number 1 batch. I was so afraid and first requested him not to do so and then even became angry at him for having such mean-minded thinking. Let me tell you here, I told those batchmates clearly that I had brought that lamp considering it my own lamp and my mistake was only when I did not return it back due to fear of mother. So, they knew that I was not a thief, but just a terrorized, helpless son of an extremely insensitive and unintelligent woman. But, that person was so mean-minded that first he took that lamp away for his own use by blackmailing me and then when I took that lamp back (because I was still in terror of my mother), just to see me getting mentally and physically tortured, next day itself he told the students of 1-year senior batch in that house. So, his behaviour was not even a bit guided by ethics, but by pure meanness and jealousy. And even other so-called friends in that house whom I had told about that episode did not do anything to stop him from telling this story of so-called stealing to seniors. Even today, I am ashamed of those so-called friends for stabbing me most brutally in my back.
So, that batchmate told the 1-batch senior students and they beat me black and blue before everyone in the whole house, taking all their revenge for my previous resistance to them on asking me to fetch water from handpump and food from school mess for them. I tried to plead with them that I did the mistake due to fear as someone stole my lamp. But, those beasts were too beastly to care and continued beating me till they got tired (for around 40-45 minutes). So, here I was – the first ranker of my batch from class VI till class VIII (and even thereafter) and someone who was called very brilliant, industrious and good-natured by every teacher who taught him, getting the label of thief from Navodaya students and getting merciless beatings for 40-45 minutes from my 1-batch seniors. No one in Navodaya came forward or even made a mild effort to save me from beatings that day, such was the low level of consciousness, students of that school possessed.
So, after the beating was over, I went to my house warden telling him about this episode and requesting him to give me leave to go back to my house in the town. He gave me that leave, but of course, he was not concerned that a student of his house was physically beaten so mercilessly by seniors (even if I did a mistake, the right to punish me lied with house warden and Principal and not with any senior students.) because he was himself an insanely insensitive person of disastrous previous generation.
So, I reached home weeping throughout my journey due to physical and emotional hurt. I saw my mother and two sisters at the house porch. She asked why I came back from my residential school and why I was weeping. I told her the whole episode and she said, “My children are so simple-minded – they do not even know how to steal.” But, she was surely angry that I was beaten so badly. So, she sent my uncle (my father used to be absent at home because of his posting as a teacher at a far off high school) to the school to complain to my house-warden about this beating. My uncle went there and complained to house-warden and returned back. Of course, house-warden did not do anything just like in the past.
And everything was over for my family regarding that episode except one thing that I did not want to go back to that jungle called Navodaya school and clearly told my mother with great pain and frustration in heart, “I do not want to go back to that school. Please put me in some other school.” She discussed about this with my father and my father told her, “I should study there till class X and then I can leave.” I do not know till today, what my mother told to my father – did my father know about that stealing and subsequent beating episode when he decided that I should study till class X in that jungle? I do not know even now nor knowing that will lessen the misdeeds of my mother and father because I do know
- that my father did not talk to me even once why I wanted to leave that school. He took his decision on his own without talking to me even once and forced that upon me like he always had done with his kids due to his Hitlar-style so-called parenting.
- that my father never met my Principal, house-warden or torturer seniors even once from class VI till class X to seek solution to my problem even when he knew that I was being physically and mentally tortured by senior students throughout these 5 years.
- that my father never suggested even once to my mother to not scold me if my article was being stolen. Because at max, Rs. 20 per month was being lost through such stealings and my family had total monthly income of more than Rs. 5000 that time. Also, I got selected in Navodaya School through an entrance exam and was saving them Rs. 400 per month which they had to pay as school fees in any other CBSE school. So, on the whole I was saving them Rs. 400-20=Rs. 380 rather than making them lose Rs. 20 every month – unfortunately, my mother did not possess enough intelligence to understand this! No family will become a beggar if there is a loss of stealings of Rs. 20 per month through a son who in fact, is saving you Rs. 400 in school fees through his scholarship.
How can someone who has been openly proclaimed as very brilliant, industrious and good-natured by every teacher who taught him during primary and high schools and was getting the first rank in his class even in a school like Navodaya where all students are selected through a competitive entrance exam, be dolt/careless/someone who had taken birth just to make his parents beggars? The fact is my mother was neither intelligent nor sensitive enough to be a good mother. And my father was also in the same category. If his wife was so ill-mannered and unintelligent, why did he not divorce her for the sake of emotional well-being of her kids rather than allowing her to torture the hapless kids in name of “selfless motherhood of a woman”?
So, I returned back to that very jungle, thanks to my parents’ unintelligence and insensitivity to get humiliated and beaten for another two years in class IX and X. Now, the humiliation and beatings became even more torturous because of the label of my being a thief. I was so frustrated and depressed throughout my class IX and X that I would not wish such experience upon even my worst enemies (including upon my own mother and father). I had realized that there is no justice from elders of previous generation for me, be they my own parents or my teachers and Principals and that in a jungle like Navodaya school of my time, the physically weak like me had no choice but to submit to humiliation and beatings. Due to this realization, I had developed a crazy will to become physically strong and in class IX, I grew very tall and much more strong due to that sheer will for self-survival in that jungle.
Due to growing tall and strong by the end of class IX, I was confident that any of my batchmates will not be able to intimidate or beat me again. But, seniors were again a hopeless pain because if you do physical violence against senior even to defend yourself, their batchmates will form a gang and severely beat you till they get tired. In class IX, I saw many animals of that 1-year senior batch stealing goods like plate, bedsheets, etc. from junior students on one single day while we were in classrooms so that they could deposit them as their own goods while leaving Navodaya school after their class X board exam. And then I realized real thieves and animals of that 1-year senior batch had humiliated and beaten a duplicate thief and good-hearted person like me 1 year ago. What an injustice! What a shame!
When I reached class X, all animals of that 1-year senior batch in my house were transferred to other houses (there were total 8 houses in boys’ hostel and there was inter-house transfer of students of that batch that year) and I became a bit happy and free because new seniors of that batch that came to my house seemed much better. But, after few months, my hopes were dashed again when those new seniors also started bossing me even when I was in class X. One of them gave me a slap with full force in class X also over a very minor matter just to show me who my boss was even in class X – that slap changed me completely. I thought, even in class X, when I continuously have been the first ranker of my class from class VI to class IX, just 1-year senior student slapped me so publicly for no real fault of mine. Where is my honour! I am publicly slapped and dishonoured even in class X!
And then, the violent rage and madness came to me. Thereafter, everyday I used to pump my fist in air and imagine beating that 1-year senior who dared to slap me even in class X. And then, that senior did a mistake of indulging into homosexuality with one junior. I got my golden chance for revenge when that exploited junior told me about that episode.
Then, I along with my batchmates of the house summoned entire junior students of my house and closed the door of the house and went to that senior’s bed. And after telling him once why he indulged into wrong thing, I started slapping and pumping fists upon him like a mad person for almost 5 minutes or so in which he got as many slaps and fists as I could rain on him one-after-another, each with the full force of hate-filled anger and energy induced in me by the animals of that 1-year senior Navodaya batch over previous 5 years. And all juniors of my house saw that merciless beating of a senior by a junior. And after beating him to my heart’s content over 5 minutes or so, I went into hiding in another house of hostel for few hours to save myself from any instant revengeful reaction from his batchmates. But, he was so wrong and my house juniors were so strongly with me that he simply left the school weeping profusely over his public humiliation at my hand that very day itself within few hours and his batchmates did not dare to take any revenge from me because it could have led to a fight with my entire house and batchmates who were totally with me.
I had tasted the immense happiness and joy that revenge produced that day and got mad for more and more revenge from every animal of my 1-year senior batch who had beaten me in previous 5 years. But, since I was always afraid of getting mob-beating from that batch (after all, you cannot fight 10-12 people alone!) and also because I had to do well in class X board exam to get admission into a good school for IIT-JEE preparation, I did not fight with any senior for the rest of class X. Once I gave my board exam, I was in my home from which Navodaya school was just 2-3 kilometres. Many students of Navodaya school used to visit cinema-halls or markets. So, I thought, if I have my gang of non-Navodaya friends with me and we catch any animal of that 1-year senior batch, I will teach him how juniors like me used to feel after getting humiliated and beaten by him in Navodaya.
- I caught 2 such students from that batch and needless to say, I fulfilled my mad thirst for revenge with them.
- When the first senior was caught by my gang near a cinema-hall, we dragged him to a secluded corner and then started beating him, but unfortunately one of my non-Navodaya friends struck his head with belt in the very beginning of our assault and blood started gushing out of his head. I was aghast as I did not want any blood in beating, but only slaps, fists and leg-assaults till we got tired of beating that animal-class senior. So, I let off that senior who, putting his hands on his head to stop the gushing blood flow and crying “bap re bap” (meaning in English, O my father!), left us and went back to Navodaya school and filed a complaint against me with the Navodaya administration who anyway could not do anything as I left the school after class X.
- And in case of the other senior who was caught by my gang of non-Navodaya friends, I did not come before him and just allowed my gang to catch and then beat him like animal till they got tired.
- I tried to catch 2 more students of that 1-year senior batch for such well-deserved beatings, but they were not caught. One of them eventually got beaten 1 year later by 2-year juniors with cricket-bat in Navodaya school because he publicly humiliated and abused one 2-year junior from my house, who then applied his experience of mob-violence set by me against animals of that batch and making a gang of his batchmates, beat that totally animal-class senior physically first and then even a with cricket-bat.
- There were a dozen animals in my 1-year senior batch, a majority of whom got beaten like animals by juniors as revenge for their unjustices to us before they left that school.
- What a poetic justice animals of my 1-year senior Navodaya batch got! When juniors like me complained against their insults and beatings with Navodaya administration, the administration did not do anything to protect us and now when these animals got severe beatings from juniors (me included) finally, the Navodaya administration was equally incapable of protecting them from juniors’ violent vengeance.
- The big question was why these 1 dozen or so animals of my 1-year senior batch and 2-3 animals of every batch (mine included) were not thrown out of the school by the Principals and house-wardens when juniors complained against them even when the Principal had access to the District Magistrate and Superintendent of Police of district as that school was a reputed residential school of the district!
- This was because these Principals and teachers (house-wardens) were insanely insensitive people (what Bhagavad Gita calls tamasic class people) of previous, disastrous generation. Hence, they converted a model school into a jungle where even good-natured people like me had to resort finally to the street justice in sheer frustration due to continuous denial of justice from school administration and even parents!
Apart from this physical response to my traumatic experience at Navodaya school, I also developed an ardent desire to give an intellectual response when one of the students of that animal-class 1-year senior Navodaya batch got 105 rank in IIT-JEE 2000 and got admission into IIT Kanpur, B. Tech Computer Science which in my knowledge that time was the best engineering stream at the best engineering college of India. (At present, I neither consider any stream as the best engineering stream nor any college as the best engineering college of India – all IITs are equally good and all engineering streams are equally good in my eyes now! What matters really is the capability, interest and will of the student and not the engineering college or stream.)
He was definitely a good student, but he was definitely an insensitive student for he was in the same House in Navodaya in which I was and his batchmates of that house mentally and physically tortured me and other juniors in his very presence not once but again and again for many years and he did not make even a mild effort even once in those many years to save me or any other junior from beastly insults and beatings of his batchmates. He was a person who was reputed to be doing yoga from the age of 4 (and had taken initiation from the Head of Bihar School of Yoga) and still he did not became a refined and sensitive person. Even later, he was least regretful about all these events (I never heard any words of regret from him till now despite sending him link to this article.), i.e., he continued to remain unrefined and insensitive person.
On the other hand, when I learnt meditation in my 2nd year at IIT Kanpur from internet without any initiation from any Guru, within 1 year, I became so sensitive to even insects that I did not allow one of my IIT Kanpur batchmates to kill mosquitos in my room, telling him, “Do not cause pain to them when you can easily scare them away using mosquito repellents.” So, the truth is yoga-practice does improve a person, but it does improve only 10-20% barring some exceptions who get improved much more. Since I was always good-hearted and sensitive by birth itself, my yoga-practice made me fully sensitive to even mosquitos, ants and other insects within 1 year. But, since my 105 rank, IIT-JEE 2000 senior at IIT Kanpur (and at Navodaya school) was inborn insensitive, even his yoga-practice from the age of 4 and direct tutelage of the Head of Bihar School of Yoga did not give him sensitivity to make even a mild effort even once over many years’ period to stop his beast-class batchmates of my 1-year senior Navodaya batch from mentally and physically torturing me or other juniors.
The lesson is:
Yoga can transform human beings only a little – not more than 10-20% barring few exceptional cases. The real BIG change in the world will not come from spreading yoga or Vedanta philosophy, but by (1) ensuring prompt justice to every child, every adult and every senior citizen and (2) reducing any chance for wrong-doings as much as possible both through (a) extremely strong law and order and (b) other technical and institutional mechanisms.
But, I had my sweet intellectual revenge over that 105 rank, IIT-JEE 2000 senior and his beastly Navodaya batch when I cracked 85 rank in IIT-JEE 2002 and took admission into B. Tech Computer Science, IIT Kanpur. No student of his Navodaya batch has managed to better my rank in any national competitive examination so far – that is the best intellectual revenge I have heaped upon animals of that 1-year senior Navodaya batch and all junior Navodaya students of my time hail this intellectual revenge because many of them were also terrorized by those animals.
In 2001, I had managed to get 1252 rank in IIT JEE and 132 rank in Roorkee entrance examination. But, I had felt so humiliated by animals of my 1-year senior batch of Navodaya jungle, that I wanted to prepare again. I had no confidence that I would be able to change the branch after entering IIT. So, I wanted not to join IIT that year and go to Delhi and prepare one more time to supersede 105 rank of that senior from animal batch. My father and mother abused me when they heard my plan. When I said, I will die but not join IIT this year, my mother told this to my father and my father at once replied before me and my mother, “Let him die. I do not care.” And I waited and waited with great agony for him to take back his shockingly insensitive words, but hours, days and finally years passed, but he never took back those words. Since I was determined, my parents (first mother and then father) had to relent and I prepared in FIIT-JEE Delhi for 1 year, fetching 85 rank in 2002 and finally fulfilling my mission of justice and ethics.
In 2001, I had realized that in Navodaya school’s so-called stealing case of my life, I was not the thief – my mother was the thief. She was the one who deserved all humiliations which I underwent due to her insanely insensitive and unintelligent behaviour. When I realized this, I started burning with rage against my mother and when after few months I went my home and met my mother, I told her how she made me a thief and allowed me to be mentally and physically tortured by beast-class seniors in such a tender age, disturbing my emotional and intellectual growth most severely.
I expected her to feel and say sorry to me. I was 100% eager to see her feeling and saying sorry for her big behavioural mistake with me and I was fully willing that time to forgive her from the bottom of my heart and let go of the whole painful affairs of the past.
But, she started scolding me again, saying that she did no mistake, that physical beating is normal at hostel and that I did not suffer in Navodaya school, but that I had an illusion of suffering at Navodaya school. When I became angry at her insane self-justification and use of words like “illusion of suffering”, she harshly told me that she was not sorry for anything and that I should keep chanting Navodaya, Navodaya whole life.” I was crestfallen and dumbstruck with shock! Here was I willing to fully forgive my mother despite my tremendous mental sufferings and humiliation at the mere age of 13 due to her and she again ended up showing herself fully incapable of feeling and saying sorry for her ghastly mistake even 5 years after that event! I realized that my mother is a pathetically insensitive and unintelligent woman and left arguing with her over my Navodaya trauma till I joined IIT Kanpur in 2002.
Once I joined IIT Kanpur in 2002, my mother started saying sorry about what she did to me all of a sudden. I realized that it was due to the impact of my IIT brand because just 1 year ago, she mercilessly brutalized me when I tried to fetch a sorry from her for her ghastly mistake. And till now, she has been saying sorry and I have been feeling incapable of forgiveness despite many genuine efforts to persuade my aggrieved mind. But, she is a mother (she should not have been so, but who cares about ability to be a good parent in this world – they all live on just biological plane like animals) and I will definitely forgive her if I reach an adequately higher level of consciousness through more and more self-effort, yoga practice and continuous celibacy.
So, it is clear that my humanity was violated when I was just 13-year old by Indian society because
- Indian society erroneously conditioned me through textbooks and societal environment that all parents and especially mothers are selfless protectors of their kids.
- Indian society allowed an environment where people can produce as many kids as they want and indulge in as much child abuse as they feel like doing without even a modicum of protection of kids’ dignity, emotional health and basic human rights.
- Indian society allowed teachers of residential schools to be totally insensitive and careless about their duty to protect physically weak students from any violence at the hands of physically strong and mean-minded so-called students.
I have nothing to write in conclusion except this last lesson from my article “10 important lessons from my life (Jul 13, 2012)” -
- One more lesson. There are unfortunately many dysfunctional families in this world – in case you are born into such a family, please do not get shocked by insensitive, unintelligent or unethical behaviour of your elders as that is what is normal in dysfunctional families (otherwise why they will be dysfunctional). You should try the following to deal with “troublemaker” elder:
- If you are financial dependent on the “troublemaker” elder, you may not be able to wriggle out of the situation on money front, but you can still try to put pressure to stop insensitive, unintelligent behaviour on a particular elder by writing a letter or email to him/her (because direct talk fails many times to have an effect on unintelligent people.)
- If the above fails, talk to other parent or grandparent or friends of the troublemaker elder or whoever in your opinion can have some sobering effect on him/her, so that they can convince the troublemaker elder to stop mentally or physically torturing you.
- If the above also fails, take the help of elders from neighbourhood or your teachers and principal, so that they can convince the troublemaker elder to stop mentally or physically torturing you.
- If all the above fails, remember that in many countries, even kids have been given legal rights to have a life of dignity. Approach police (Police stations have child welfare officers in India) and tell them your problem and ask them to help you. Unfortunately, unlike countries like Norway, we do not have strong institutions to take the kids out of the hands of dysfunctional families and give them for adoption to civilized people. So, lots of us from such families continue the life of hellish childhood. But, I hope, future civilized bureaucrats and political leaders will create such good institutions in India also.
Sorry if you feel that any part of this article wasted your precious time! I genuinely hope, you got some serious and useful lessons on human psychology from this article and I wish,
- women and men of future generations of India and elsewhere will be quite intelligent and sensitive parents and
- that in this world, animal-class so-called humans, who shamelessly heap emotional abuse and physical violence upon the weak again and again, will never be shown “punishment-free forgiveness” and will always be given prompt and adequate punishment by the righteous people and system because animal-class so-called humans (called tamasic class people in Bhagavad Gita) are too insensitive and unintelligent to understand their mistakes through “punishment-free forgiveness” and rational arguments as experiences of the past history of humanity amply show.
- I do recommend taking psychiatric medication to deal with serious traumas of the past if yoga and meditation do not help fully. I myself believed erroneously throughout 20s that psychiatric medication is futile to deal with past traumas because I read in an article by Osho that psychiatrists commit suicide in large numbers which seem to be empirically verified in many studies, but does not negate the power of psychiatric medication as my own experiences proved now to me. When I tried psychiatric medication few months ago, I found that I can calm my mind down within 30 min using a tranquilizer tablet, Alprazolam, even when it is at its extreme level of frustration and rage over the injustices of the past and thus, it gave me a fulfilling and productive sense of control over life which is the crucial step towards full healing and letting go. So, I believe now in “yoga plus psychiatric medication” to deal with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and recommend the same to others as well.
- After writing this article, I got reply on facebook from the person whose lamp was mistakenly taken by me (I learnt that he was that person first time in life now): “I know about yr story, I am the guy whom you helped in Ranchi, and the lamp u took was mine…you may be glad to know i also cracked jee with 577 ranks and consider you as my guru.” So, the moral victory also belongs to me. This reply from him will help me heal faster and more completely. But, the lessons that are in article stay true and reveal the limitations of spirituality (non-violent, punishment-free methods) in dealing with lower-type of humanity (tamasic class).
- I am on way to complete healing and recovery through multi-dimensional approach of yoga, celibacy, venting out constructively like I did in this article and contacting and telling all those beasts who humiliated or beat me in Navodaya school about how much behind I left them intellectually as well as spiritually for ever. I thank you all for your wishes and support – they are very helpful for my healing and recovery.
- As is normal, I would like to associate only with institutions where my basic human rights and dignity were protected (like IIT Kanpur and UIUC). Since Jawahar Navodaya Vidyalaya (JNV) Begusarai did not prove to be such an institution, I do not belong to Navodaya, but only to civilized institutions like IIT Kanpur and UIUC. I wish, no student has to face this type of barbarism that I faced in JNV Begusarai of my time in any institution of India or elsewhere. Best wishes for the readers of this article.